Can You Still Feel Joy? Doctor Luo Dalun: The Three Foundations of Life Are Happiness, Health and Contributing to Society

Opening: by the seaside in Sanya, he sends out invitations — and almost no one comes

Doctor Luo Dalun lives in Sanya, Hainan. He often invites his friends: why not come down to Sanya and have some fun? Come relax when you can get away from work — this is a genuine invitation he has extended to many close friends.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: But honestly, after all these years, almost nobody has come. I can only recall two male classmates — they happened to be on business trips in Guangdong, fairly close by, so they bought tickets and dropped by Sanya for two days. We drank, chatted, shared some good times, and then they left — just those two. Everyone else, I suppose, was busy, busy with their own careers. Nobody responded.

So who does come? Strangely enough, the most enthusiastic responses are almost all from people who want him to analyze their health problems — if their bodies feel off, no matter how far, they fly all the way to Sanya to meet him.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Actually, the vast majority of these problems could be solved locally — a local Chinese medicine practitioner could treat them fine. And my level is really not that high; please don’t imagine me as some miracle doctor — I’m just an ordinary practitioner of Chinese medicine. So coming all this way really doesn’t mean much.

Those who could have come but didn’t — they all regretted it later

Besides those two types, there’s one more: people who had the means to come, didn’t come, and regretted it later. Doctor Luo has met quite a few such business owners.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: There was one boss who had a tumor that had already spread — terminal stage — and most hospitals refused to treat him. He found me through a friend, and I wrote him a prescription — but honestly, I think my role as a comfort may have been greater. Talking with him, I learned a lot too: his heart was full of regret. He said he owned a place in Sanya, but he spent all year doing business elsewhere, chasing money — he didn’t even live with his wife; she was back in northeastern China. He gave up his family, never rested, and never once stayed in his Sanya apartment. Then he got the tumor, and now he regretted it. I said: if you had only taken a little time — a regular break every month or two — your body would never have gotten this bad, your upright qi would never have been so depleted. Later, the following year, I heard from friends that he had passed away — no more chances.

There’s a similar story: a senior official, a mayor-level leader, owned a place in Sanya, fully renovated — never spent a single day in it. He too later got a tumor — he never rested, busy every single day.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: He told me that after getting the tumor, his regret was this: in the first half of his life, he was trading his life for money. Looking back now, there’s real regret there. If they had only come here regularly to breathe fresh air, escape the pollution, relax, and relieve the anxiety and pressure — ease that liver qi constraint — they might never have gotten this sick at all. So it’s a particular shame.

The one exception: the brother who knew how to play since childhood

So is it true that nobody comes? There is an exception. Doctor Luo has a middle-school classmate, a brother, who just left — he left two days ago. He came, and everyone was delighted; they gathered, drank, and chatted. Talking with him, Doctor Luo was quite inspired.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Why is this brother so interesting? Because he has loved to play since childhood. The rest of us were raised with one requirement: get high scores, get into the key middle school, get into a good university — constant pressure to study harder, hardly any chance to play. My own memory of middle school is: endless exams, endless problem sets, self-study every night until late — by senior year of high school I was running purely on physical endurance, holding on physically while my mind had gone numb. But this guy knew how to play as a kid, loved to play — back then they called him ‘a bit mischievous.’

Today this brother runs his own company, and the biggest difference between him and the rest of them is: he plays exceptionally well — across the whole spectrum.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Take snowboarding, for example — before the pandemic he skied in Switzerland, then Japan, and lately mainly in the northeast at Beidahu. He can do everything; I think he’s like a real-life 007. What did he come to Sanya to play this time? Surfing was beneath him, he said — he does kite surfing.

Kite surfing: so niche that only about a thousand people in China do it

What exactly is kite surfing? Doctor Luo explained in detail.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Up top there’s something like a paraglider wing, tethered by ropes — when the wind blows it lifts and pulls you forward like a sail; below is a board, and you ride the board across the water, shooting forward. Not many people do this in China — saying a few thousand might be generous; around a thousand people, maybe. It’s also new abroad — a niche sport, because it’s technically demanding: your hands have to manage the angle of the wing, your feet have to work the board — upper and lower body operating together.

He brought Doctor Luo to a bay in Sanya that’s made for kite surfing.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: When we got to the bay it was really lively. The fun places in Sanya aren’t in the hotels, the big resorts, or the duty-free shops — they’re in the little fishing villages. In the fishing villages, lots of farmhouses have been converted into small guesthouses and hostels; young people stay for two or three months at a stretch. The beach is lined with surfing clubs with instructors. Among the best players there’s a real master — Brother A Guang — one of the founders of this sport in China. He used to play overseas, then saw that nobody in China was doing it, so he brought it back, founded a club, and started teaching. My classmate and A Guang got along like brothers — ‘we’ve been playing together for years’ — surfing together every day, like long-lost brothers, not strangers at all. They even coordinate by the weather: they check global forecasts, watch the wind direction and wind maps, and whenever a good wind is coming up somewhere, they go there to play — no wind, no play. These past two days they’re in Haikou for a competition; it’s intense, and they’re having a blast.

A 52-year-old living with the body and mind of a 30-year-old

How big is the gap between this brother and his peers? Doctor Luo marvels: he’s also 52, yet most people in their fifties grow more staid and solemn, doing the same work, the same commute, day after day. Not him — he is visibly, dramatically happier than most. Wherever he goes, the whole atmosphere fills with energy; he’s constantly chatting and joking, and when he talks about sports his eyes light up with excitement.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: His happiness is far greater than that of — I’d say — ninety-plus percent of people our age. And his body: among our classmates in our fifties, high blood lipids, fatty liver, high blood pressure, high blood sugar — the affluence diseases are getting very common. But this brother has none of it. He says he never goes to a hospital at all — his body is like a man in his thirties: strong calves, sun-bronzed skin, full of vitality. He doesn’t drink gou qi berry tea, doesn’t deliberately follow health regimens — bring that up and he has no idea what you’re talking about. He just plays, happily, and as a result his body is excellent — a health that comes naturally, without trying.

Most important is his mental state: in play there is a constant stream of exciting challenges, so he is joyful.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: When he’s with our big group of fifty-somethings who live the same unchanging routine and have no hobbies, he genuinely has nothing to say — the things he plays, we can’t even talk about. He mentions A Guang winning some championship, and nobody even knows who A Guang is. That’s why he often skips the hometown class reunions, and people say he’s unsociable — but it’s not that at all. His mind and body are both in a thirties-state, and he really has nothing to chat about with us. The difference in mental health is enormous.

Why the huge gap? — Our capacity for joy is not the same

After two days with this brother, a question kept turning in Doctor Luo’s mind: why is the gap between us so huge? He figured out one important reason:

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Our capacity for joy is not the same. When we were kids, our parents had a single criterion: academic performance. Grades had to be good; nothing else mattered. In middle school it was even more so: the higher the grades, the better the school you could enter. And what was a good school for? High status, high income, becoming a leader — parents all vaguely harbored these ideas. So from childhood the pressure was enormous; we were grade-grinding strivers. Along the way, our other abilities to find joy, our ability to perceive joy, slowly declined. By the time of the college entrance exam it was pure endurance — repeating the same problem sets every day; there was no question of enjoyment, whoever endured longest won. Some people’s minds broke: ‘I really don’t want to study anymore’ — and that was it, the exams went badly. So back then we had almost no joy, and our capacity for joy kept shrinking. Then we grew up into high-pressure jobs, and life lost its vitality — that’s the common situation for people like us.

Why is this brother the exception? Doctor Luo thought about it: probably in middle school his family didn’t manage him much, the pressure to study was lighter, and he played more — his innocent, playful nature was preserved, which kept him fairly cheerful. When he grew up and found something he loved, it blossomed instantly.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: He finds a project he loves and grows right there inside it. So his capacity for joy is clearly far greater than ours.

Life’s scorecard changes after 50

So is this good or bad? Doctor Luo says people judge their lives differently at different stages.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Early on you might say: his company isn’t that big, that’s not really success. But past a certain age — say, over 50 — you find the criteria slowly change. I’ve started re-evaluating now: I think he is the successful one. His company contributes to society, it runs, it earns enough to support him traveling and playing — but he doesn’t make it the whole of his life; he takes a portion of his time and disperses it into play. Play has brought him mental and physical health — he is very happy, several times happier than most people; his body is superb, like a 30-year-old’s. Notice something? Some people make a fortune — listed-company chairmen — and then they’re gone, just like that. Can you call that success?

That evening, Doctor Luo said: I’m buying the drinks, we must drink, bring out the good stuff. Drinking and chatting, the two fifty-somethings agreed completely: life is basically set now — what matters most in life?

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Happiness and health matter most in life. Your life should be joyful and healthy — these are the foundations of life. And through work you can contribute to society — so the three most important foundations of life are: happiness, health, and contributing to society. No happiness is greater than that. The nature of contribution differs: some people are born with extraordinary abilities and can serve a billion people; others serve a single community, a few dozen people — both are contributions, both have value. Because people’s opportunities and efforts differ, you can’t rank them as high and low. As long as everyone contributes to and serves one another, society can function. Built on that, if people can be happy and healthy, life is complete.

Today’s children have it harder than we did

Doctor Luo turns to the children — today’s students, he says, actually have it harder than his generation did.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: When we were kids, studying until midnight was considered an extremely diligent student; I hear elementary schoolers do that now — I never did that even in high school. So today’s children carry even more pressure: both the education system and parents consider grades extremely important. This drains children of vitality. A child is born full of innocence and curiosity about the world — are we suppressing that curiosity? Are we turning children into machines — get up at a set hour, do problems, go to class, do problems, come home and do problems, sleep? On weekends it’s tutoring: piano was meant to let you appreciate the beauty of music, skating was meant to let you feel the natural beauty of balance in your body — but we turn them into exams: no certificate, you’re stupid; get the certificate, you’re excellent; then take the next exam. We turn children into machines — are they really happy? Some children are pushed to their breaking point. Parents should reflect: is this really good?

Is there only one coordinate in life? High scores, the best school, the highest office, the most money, the greatest honor — are such people truly happy?

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: We’ve lectured on the Dao De Jing a lot — but such people aren’t necessarily happy. If you don’t understand the meaning of what you do, then no matter how high your position, how much money, how great your reputation, you still don’t really know what happiness is. Life has different coordinates, and no matter how crookedly you walk, one day you will inevitably agree: happiness, health, and contributing to society — these three are the important foundations of life. At first you might be full of drive — ‘look at me!’ — but after 50 you discover: he’s just an ordinary employee, yet he’s happier than me, healthier than me, and the product he makes carefully every day sells quite well — so who has the meaning? The chairman who spends every day in hospitals is worse off than ordinary folks. Change your angle, look at the inside of things, and the picture is completely different.

How adults find joy again — play with your children, learn something new

What about adults? Doctor Luo says adults are almost helplessly trapped in this cycle; very few admit they are happy. But joy can be found again.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Children learn to skate at the rink, and many parents just stand outside watching — folks, can’t you find joy there? Can’t you put on skates too and go skate with your child? Take a fall yourself and see how much your child laughs! You grow together with your child — you need joy too. Your child is drawing in art class — why can’t you draw in there too? Everyone stands outside chatting and staring at phones — where’s your joy? These small activities, everyone can join in.

And how do you find joy, feel joy? Learn a sport — Doctor Luo says he refuses to surrender to age; in a couple of days he’s going to learn surfing.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: Make an effort to learn, take a little time to learn a new sport — even a quiet one: learn some standing meditation (zhan zhuang), some Baduanjin (Eight Pieces of Brocade), tai chi — all fine. Ball sports, whatever — just learn and play. Don’t say you have no time — you can play with your child, and while playing you also bond. Lots of children have tics and so on — those are largely caused by a lack of parental communication and excessive pressure. If you can play ball with your child, play together, and communicate emotionally through that, it matters enormously. Children hit a rebellious stage at a certain age — why do they rebel? Because you and your child are no longer in resonance — the two of you are talking past each other; what each of you knows is misaligned, so how can you communicate? If you play ball together, comment on things together, share feelings together, then when you talk to them, you’ll resonate more easily and be accepted more easily.

Closing: life is not a single line — look at life from another angle

Summing up, Doctor Luo says: life truly has more than one coordinate.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: It’s not that making the most money, always striving upward, always adding frosting, or holding the highest office with the greatest fame makes you happy. Our lives have more than one coordinate — society is so diverse, life is so diverse, we simply can’t judge each person. Whether he is happy or not — change the angle and it’s completely different. So you must jump out of yourself and consider things from every angle; that way life gives you more perspectives, and you won’t squeeze yourself onto a single line. On a single line, nobody is really happy — only the one at the very front feels a bit happier. But when you actually reach the front, you’ll find it’s not necessarily so.

Do your work seriously, by all means — but in life, you must be happy and healthy. That is especially important.

💬 Note from Doctor Luo: My classmate left Sanya two days ago to compete in Haikou — I watched him go off happily; after the competition he’ll head back to Shenyang for work. His working hours are flexible; he has the ability to pursue happiness. We ordinary people can pursue small joys, small sports, small happinesses. As long as you shift your angle, earnestly and steadily do something — take up a sport — it may bring you unexpected joy. I hope everyone is happy in heart, healthy in body, contributing to their work and to society — that’s the real life. Whether your contribution to society is big or small, do your best, and keep improving.

Compiled from Doctor Luo Dalun’s personal essay (happiness and health). The three most important foundations of life: happiness, health, and contributing to society. Don’t let grades, promotions and money become the only coordinates of life; preserve your capacity for joy, play with your children, learn a new sport — and win back your health and happiness.